EXCUSES ONLY WHEN FEELING GUILTY. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whenever we feel, not so good, or, whenever things do not work, our mind is on a search engine to find excuses.

Our mind point fingers at others or some silly things.

''Some one up to 40 years, has been doing extremely well , in all aspects of life. Very professionally educated and financially sound and all good things. Suddenly, due to carelessness and some bad luck , things started going backwards and bad.Instead of accepting reality, and own carelessness, this person,found a reason.........his cousin, was competitor and his enmity caused all these,''

Even at 55, this guy is living with such a silly excuse !!!

Even now, when things go according to his plan, he doesn't bother about this. But, the very imminent moment of doubt about his well being, he will bring his cousin into the picture!

There is no need to feel guilty, we all commit mistakes..........but surely, should accept it, without hurting self . False pride is what is causing all these problems, BAD EGO, TO BE DROPPED, if we want to make steady progress in life !!!

THE FEEL-GOOD, PLEASURE & HAPPINESS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The common complaint is that, it is difficult to self motivate !
True.
When we feel good, get pleasure, and thereby feel happy, we won't be motivated to work hard.
For different people , all these comes from different sources :-

- not doing any thing ( lazy state )
-inflicting injuries on others
-inflicting injuries on self.
-working positively hard and making progress/difference.

Choices are ours !!!!!!!!!!!!

TWO WAYS , ANXIETY................

We become anxious when.........

1.We have less time and more work.  We are anxious about finishing deadline.

2.When we have lots of time bu, no work to do.  We don't have work to do is a situation that , we don't want to do !

If we want to do things, there are millions of things that we can do to improve our life.

In first case, the people manage to finish and they feel satisfied and happy..........they are positive people.

In the second case, people do as much normal things to while away the time. After the maximum such things, they get bored and this boredom creates even more anxiety and that leads to finding excuses through day dreaming.

Add on positive qualities and knowledge is the way to be happy.

HOW TO BECOME STRONG & CONFIDENT ?

We all want to be strong and confident , but we all have different concept and ideas as to how..........

1. We should live with our original personality.
    
    When we act as if we are some one different , we are confusing ourselves as well as others !!!

2.Focus on professional improvements, which makes us financially secure .

3.Add positive emotions like love, sympathy, compassion etc to our original personality.( we lose these basic qualities, which we are born with because of fast life )

When we live with positive emotions , we are creating comfortable ambiance within self and outside.

In comfortable ambiance others treat us AS EQUAL , and it makes us strong and confident !!!!!!!!!!!!

TO FEEL THE LOVE & CARE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We often feel that we are not being loved by others......nobody cares !!!!!!!!!
If we have to feel others love and care, we should love others, unconditionally.

Here is a lady who is extremely loving and she sincerely take care of her friends. But, she stops being a friend , the moment she knows that her friends talk to the people ,who she is not comfortable with !!!!!!!!!!!!

So, here is a unwritten condition by her,'' if only her friends talk to the people of her choice''.

This is due to low self esteem.

This condition makes her more and more lonely..

So, love others unconditionally and then, we will feel the love and care of the world  !!!!!!!!!!!  for sure.

That is the key to happiness and self esteem.

 

SELF CONFIDENCE AND INTEGRITY !!!!!!!!!!!

Our self confidence , largely depends on the way we live our
life.

When we lead a life of integrity, others do not get a chance to
make any remark about it.......even if they make it, it won't affect us, since we know that we are in the right place .

WE CAN & WE SHOULD DO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The life , we want is within our control...........

Our behaving and actions decide the course of our life.

We often blame others, for their reactions.

But, the negative reactions of others are the result of our negative actions,  we can control our actions !!!!!!!!!!!!

Instead of blaming others and thus shifting our focus, we should take control of our behaviour and direct it to the positive route ........... if we constantly do it , we get what we want !!!!

WE ARE IN CONTROL OF OUR SELF CONFIDENCE...................

Self confidence is the product of many things............

-the way we conduct our life

-the responsibility, we bring in our actions

-the maturity with which we approach things

-the amount of energy/activeness with which we live

-the awareness and consciousness, with which we live

-the enthusiasm for self education

This gives us the idea that we are in control of our self

confidence and none else !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONE THING, WOMEN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT MEN...............................

The one thing men hate the most, is the unsolicited advice,

''as to what to do and how to do''.

Men want to do things on their own.

Unsolicited advice makes them feel ,'incompetent'.

This is as bad as , rubbing their big ego on the wrong side !

So , women, better be aware of this !!!!

MIND=GAP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More than generation gap , it is the mind gap , that is happening now............

This gap is due to the exposure and experience........the difference between two people.

If we have to understand the other person, we need to update
on a regular , minute to minute basis about the changes in the world.

It is not age any more, it is the mind !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IGNORANCE, THE ROOT CAUSE !!!!!!!!!

Ignorance about what we talk, ignorance about cultures and ignorance about the world.................

Ignorance creates the fear, confusion and chaos in human mind.

Ignorance is the root cause for inferiority complex and inferiority complex lead to aggression in the mind.

Self education, non-stop is the only happy way to live.

FEELING , NOT GOOD ENOUGH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We, often have this feeling .

We only are responsible for this situation.

This situation creates imbalance.

This happens, when we stop self education.

We cannot afford to stop educating self.

Continuous self education brings back the feeling of being

worthy and happy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MENTAL PREPARATION !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Advance mental preparation help us to avoid the irritations,

of any job.

Even routine jobs, if we see through in our  mind on a daily 

basis , before we do them, help us to be away from the 

boredom !

Our mind is the director and hence the job of direction should

be given to our mind daily, about every thing, we want to do.

Trust your mind and leave the rest to the mind ...it will take 

care !!!

NOT A FOOL ; NOT A FAILURE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is no failure in life.   We feel being failed , when we do 
not achieve our goals ! 

 If that is to be true, Thomas Edison must have failed 999 times, when he tried to make electric bulb, but , he said.'' I tried 999 different ways to make it'', and never failed !!

Same applies to our feeling of being foolish  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We feel being a fool , whenever , our ideas and views do not 
match with others, who we debate/discuss .

When other person disagrees, we feel that we are being treated as fool ...........this happens , especially, when we give too much of importance on the tone and other accessories of communication...... mind you nobody is an expert in communication !!!

The feeling of being foolish, is a self imagination due to our low confidence/lack of confidence !!!!

DISCUSSIONS ARE A WAY OF LEARNING AND DISAGREEMENTS, MAKE US THINK MORE  and thus help us to be richer in experience and knowledge.............

it is a learning process !!!!!!!!!!

If every one thinks the same way all the time, no body gets an opportunity to learn !!!

ADD POSITIVE MEANING TO LIFE !!!!!!

Meaning is important.....it is like the direction in life.

Directionless life is boring .

Positive meaning is a good motivator for self !!!!!!!!!!!!

DIVIDE AND LIVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

People who are low in self confidence try to create division 

between people............they do it even among family members !!!

This is a strategy to cover up their weaknesses !!!!!!!!!!!

Better way is to work on improving self confidence...positive.

Divide and live does not work in the long run !!!!!!!!!!!!

RE-START !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At various stages of our life, we need to switch off and think about what is happening in our life.

This help us to know , if any corrections have to be made or not.

Mostly , we need to...............

After this analysis , we can go for the re-start with a new energy 

and enthusiasm  !!!!!!!!!!!

HALF KNOWLEDGE IS MORE DANGEROUS !!!!!

Most of our conversations and decisions are based on half knowledge.

This means, we follow many things blindly, just because , the society has been doing it.

This will not help us in our path to progress.

Acquiring the right knowledge is the process of life, which is 

interesting and beneficial !!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

HAPPY, SOMETIMES.......... SOME TIMES NOT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Most of the people feel happy, some times !!!!!!!!!!!!!

More often , they do not feel happy !

All that , one has to do is to ask a question, '' when do we feel , 

positively happy ?''

Definitely, we need to be on the process and happiness should  

on process !

SURVIVAL MENTALITY.....................

We all want to survive......... we are born with that mentality and requirements.

When we look for survival, we are putting ourselves in a bit of self doubt.

This mentality , automatically generates fear and that takes away our confidence...... because we think our survival depends on others and others may not be co-operating with us.

In this century , we should think only about our improvement..........improvement mentality shifts the focus from others to what we can do !!!!!!!!!!!!

What and how we can improve , this question help us to think about ourselves and this help us to move forward...................

HARD WORK ONLY SHARPENS TALENTS & SKILLS !!!

Hard work with complete willingness is a must for sharpening our skills and talents.

Hard work creates new path and waves in our brain.

These paths and waves , definitely lead to great things, if only we have the tenacity and patience to continue with hard work......... ofcourse with the entire body and mind in it !!!!!!!!!!

Hard work pays , not once , always !!!!!!!!!!!!!

ONE NEW KNOWLEDGE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We must make sure that , we have one new good point to think about every day.

We must fill the mind with another new point only after clearing the first point.

If we feed our mind with new knowledge like this regularly, we will be making tremendous progress in life to have the life , we want to live and the place , we want to live !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This way, we can walk the path of confidence !

NEGATIVITY TOO HAS EXPIRY PERIOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Every thing has an expiry period.........negativity is not an exception to this rule.....the effect of negativity too will vanish !!!

Negative attitude brings temporary gains.. but it will keep on diminishing with over use and period.

Therefore , it is  sure, that we have to embrace  positive attitude in life  !!!

SILLY DAY DREAMS, THE SPOILER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

We all like to keep some day dreams with us, because, this gives 

us some easy pleasure !

But, this silly dreams control our mind and life to the extent 

that we become slaves to them !

They do not allow us to move away from this and thus we hate

reading, listening and ultimately doing constructive work  !!!!

NO PATIENCE, NO GAIN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We can achieve any thing, if only we have enough patience !!!

Without patience, nothing can be achieved.

Patience helps us to make priorities in life, which otherwise,

we miss out.

'' Rome was not built in a day '',  hints towards the importance

of patience.

At young age, very few acquire this quality !!!!!!!!!!!!!

PATIENCE, THE MOTHER OF ALL QUALITIES !!!!!!!!

The one with utmost patience, never fails !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is almost impossible to defeat such a person !

Patience helps us :-

- to understand things, the way they should be understood.
-to understand people , the way they should be understood.
-to avoid misunderstandings;
-to improve our listening.
-improve our learning.

-to improve our inner calm and over all health .

-to maintain and improve our relationships.

ROOTS OF FEAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Most of our fear is caused, when we focus on the results of our actions........ anxiety is generated about the result !

Too much of anxiety leads to fear.  Therefore it is better always to focus on the process !

Fears may be due to many of our past failures.........

We personalize failures to the extreme that it becomes a part of our system........... focus on the process always, will solve the problems !!!!!

CONSEQUENCES !!!!!!

Consequences are part of all our actions.This cannot be avoided.

Maturity helps us to think about the consequences of our actions, before we take our actions !

Immaturity leads to impulse actions and this may lead us in to problems.

Immature people , then pass on the buck on others !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is an attempt to save their face, but, that won't help any one in any way !!!!

Must have the moral courage to think before actions and also to own up responsibility for the consequences !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CONFRONTATIONS DISTURB INTERNAL PEACE !!!

Internal peace is the most important thing to have harmony in life.
Internal peace only will help us to move forward in life.

The confrontations spoil the mood and the bad mood make us impotent !!!!!!!!!!!!

Should have a lot of patience and should learn to forgive and forget !!!!!!!!!!!!!

CALM MIND !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are at the best of efficiency, when we possess a calm mind !!!

But, how do we own this calm mind ?  Only by being completely 

positive !!!

Even the smallest dot of negativity in our mind shifts our focus, 

at  the quickest, and that too without our knowledge.

This immediately decreases our efficiency !!!

And it will have a negative effect on health too !!!

NOTHING TO BEAT KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERIENCE !!!!!!

Money may come and go. The things that do not depreciate in value is knowledge and experience.

We can afford to live any life any where in the world , if we have enough proper knowledge and experience.

The knowledge to maintain health included !!!!!

NEGATIVITY IS NORMAL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Almost every one has a bit of negative side. It is normal.

But, we can turn to positive, completely, with a lot of awareness and practice for sure !!!

When a series of bad luck happens, a sort of fear conquer us. This fear turns us in to negative people !

Still worse is, when we relate or connect our bad luck to other people............ here is the real danger of becoming negative for long time !

Relating our bad luck to others is the stupidest thing we do to spoil our own life !

Forgive and forget !!!!!!!!!!

BE MORE OF A LEARNER THAN BE A TEACHER !!!!

We try to teach more to others, even when we are not sure of what we teach !!! Ego wants us to teach others !

We learn less, because , it needs patience ! We presume , we know all or we think , these are not useful ....no need to waste time !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

When need arises, we will try to learn !!!!!!!!!  attitude !

THERE IS SOMETHING FOR EVERY ONE !!!!!!!!

There is some thing for all of us , in every thing that happens in this world.

If we are positive , we should not be ignoring others and any thing, as unimportant.

We have some thing in every conversation of any one and in any action of any one........... we have some thing in every experience that is happening in this world..........open up an learn so that , we become richer by experience !

NEGATIVITY HAS MANY LAYERS !!!!!!!!

Negativity is a strong emotion, because it has many layers of various character.
Different layers work as appropriate defencive mechanism, depending on the need of the situation !
Negativity makes our life easy, and that exactly is the reason for people to opt for it .
Opposing and criticising others is easier than performing things for ourselves !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is why , we do not want to leave negative thoughts for ever !!

STEPPING IN TO CONFIDENCE ZONE..............

We all want to walk and live with confidence. Without confidence , we won't be able to live the life we want.


But, what we should realise is that, we cannot walk freely , when we carry load on our head and shoulders.


If we carry personal enmity with any person, it works like a big load on us. With this heavy load we can't walk freely !


Therefore, the first prerequisite to stepping in to confidence zone, is to be free of personal enmities.


If , already exists, that should be removed by forgetting and forgiving !!!!!!!!!!!!!

NON-CONTROVERSIAL

Controversies are negative. Therefore controversies create negative feelings inside.............. this works badly in our system, which in turn delays our progress.


Therefore , it would be advisable to lead a non-controversial life  to avoid the negativity creeping into us !!!!!

OPTIONS PLENTY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are living in a world of plenty of options................therefore we do not have to get panicked, if some thing does not work , the way we wanted...........go for the next best option !!!!!


Unfortunately, this may not be the case with closed countries, with conservative cultures...........it will take time for those, who live in them..............education is the quickest way to take it to this level........hope , the whole world will have these options available soon !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ACCEPT/IGNORE....DON'T CONFRONT..........

We have plenty of options in our life.........


We have an option to accept, whatever , we think is good for our life......... accept !


We have an option to ignore and forget, whatever, we think is not good for us..........ignore !


Confrontation is not a good positive option...........this creates negative atmosphere, which creates negative emotions in our mind too............  this, may be avoided to avoid negativity creeping in to our mind !

WHEN WE FACE PROBLEMS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When we face problems, we tend to relate it to some thing and some one....................this is quite natural and normal .


But, we may be wrong in identifying our problem areas.


So we need to be patient, before we make our judgement. 

ALWAYS THINK AND DO POSITIVES .............

There can be misunderstandings and problems in life .

There is no one in the world , who never had problems and

misunderstandings.

But, this should not let ourselves down, so also, should not take

negative steps towards others !!!!

BOOKS...THE BEST FRIENDS..............

Books are the most reliable friends. There are many good authors , who have good subjects, well written too !


Books are available almost every where, even on net, which is the best thing that has happened in the recent times.


At times, we may have to repeated read ,perhaps to get what the author meant about certain points......... but it is worth doing so !!!!!!

HARMLESS...........................

If we can't help others , fine............


But, we are able to be harmless, any time in life.


This capacity is within us and we can control this.


Being harmless itself is a big contribution to the human being !!!

POSITIVE CONTRIBUTIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If we think about contributing to the world in positive ways and to lead a good , law abiding citizen's life, we would be more effective.


The above attitude will make us more effective and happy because, we will have a lot of satisfactions, from our positive activity !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Rebelling is not necessary to make changes, there are positive routes , if intentions are good !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Good intentions should be the core factor.


Rebellious attitude will disturb peace both outside and inside, not at all advisable !!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT IS DIFFICULT TO CHANGE......................

When we experience a series of bad luck, our mind goes in to a negative shell.


When nothing works according to our plan, we develop cold feet for even for good things.


It is difficult to see positives in such conditions...........


But, it is not impossible because, our mind is in our control !!!!, if we want !!!

DIFFICULT TIMES TEACH US A LOT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When things do not work our way, we curse ourselves. We swear our bad luck.


What we should know is, if every thing goes our way, we won't be learning any thing.


We, our mind , get ready for different alternatives , only when things do not happen the way we want.


Have a bit patience, and take a positive attitude, there will be an opportunity in learning from difficult times..............

READY MADE COMMENDS .........................

Negative people have comments at their disposal any time. This is because , they do not give enough time to themselves to get in to the topics.
They are in a hurry to make their presence felt.

This can be avoided with a bit of patience and calm mind !!!

IF ALL FINGERS WERE THE SAME !!!!!!!!!!!!

If all fingers were the same in shape, length and breadth , we would not have been able to do the things , we do now !!!


It's the same with the diversity of people..........diversity is good for our survival and growth.


We cannot expect every one to be the same in all..........


It would be a boring situation, and , less efficient !!!

THE BEST SELF MOTIVATION !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Parents try to motivate children by saying, to compete with the best and beat that person.

Some may suggest to learn from the best.

Some may say, that to get the best job, need to be the best.

All these have the external element !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

These may work a bit, but there is a danger of becoming frustrated , when things do not work .

The main problem here is that , the focus is on the person, which is not at all advisable.

INTERNAL EXCELLENCE, is the best self  motivating factor............. we should help the people to direct their mind towards this positive motto !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JEALOUSY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When we do not do well in life, we become angry. Then , we target others , for our anger......... we hold others responsible.

Still worse, we envy others.......... at this point , our entire focus
is on others. This creates negativity inside us !

This negativity never leaves us... it works inside as poison !

As long as it is inside us, we won't be able to function properly.

KEEP OURSELVES FREE FROM THIS !

IGNORANT COMMENTS.......................

People , who are the most ignorant, make the most comments.

They do not deserve any reactions.

They do this to get some attention, which otherwise , they do

not get ! They have nothing on their person to get it ..........

The biggest problem , human beings  facing are , because

of the ignorance by huge percentage of people !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Countries need to bring revolution to educate the mass !!

RESTLESS MIND !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our mind becomes restless, when we think about others. We  waste a lot of time , thinking about others.

This takes away the focus from  our own life, which is the most important thing.

Successful people know it and they follow their mind !

CULTURE V/S INDIVIDUAL FREEDOM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Am at a loss to understand , why should we follow any culture .

Are we , in 21st century , good enough to follow our mind ?

These cultural settings seems to interfere with individual freedom, end of the day , complete freedom is what gives us the happiness................

CULTURE !!!!!!!!!!!!

When people say, their culture  is the best....... wonder , what their culture has taught them.

When people make value judgements this way, it is a bad reflection on their culture.

Any culture not respecting others is no culture at all .................